He said hi to me today. I don’t know why but I get this nauseous feeling every time I see him. It’s like I look forward to seeing him. What the fuck. I think this is wrong. I think I’m just going through a phase. & I think I automatically like anyone who is nice to me. Maybe I’m just searching for a father figure out of him. Because no one has actually been so soft-spoken in my family, it just surprised me how kind he can be. Ugh it sickens me so much. But then again, I think a majority of this feeling is fake, due to the OCD I have. I have a really weird case of OCD… it’s like this big bulk of my mind is trying to make me feel things I never want to feel, and do things I never want to do. It’s like that one part of my brain doesn’t correspond to the person I am. It really creeps me out.